Writing for a Living:Natalie of Bambino Goodies and Self Employed Mum
9 August 2009
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I became self-employed when my first daughter Saria, now almost 26 months was just eight months old. I’ve been a blogger for over five years, and eighteen months ago I took the decision to go it alone and publish my blogs for a living. At the time, I had a large relationship blog, Baggage Reclaim, plus a little ‘experiment’ called Bambino Goodies, a lifestyle blog highlighting cool products for the first four years of family life. I have a ‘few’ blogs now with a six figure readership and it’s been a steep learning curve that whilst I have enjoyed it, at times has had me feeling like I want to hurl myself on the floor like one of the kids in the Haribo ads.
Six months into being my own boss, I found out that I was pregnant with Nia, now just over 13 weeks, and it took getting to about 7 months pregnant for me to twig that 1) I still hadn’t made a definitive plan of how the business would chug along after I gave birth, 2) the business was too young for me to hand off to someone else, and 3) I needed a plan B. To be honest, it was all a bit of a headwreck when this all dawned on me but what followed was a more relaxed pregnancy where I got to work, rest, nest, and sew, followed by my ‘maternity leave’ which is basically me working on a reduced schedule so that I can enjoy Nia, nurture Saria, preserve my sanity, and have some semblance of a life. Oh did I mention I had to recover from a c-section? It’s a delicate balance…
So how do I do it?
I have excellent childcare
My childminder is so fabulous that like the parents of the other children that go, contemplating sending Saria to nursery fills me with chills. She’s flexible, collects and drops off, breakfast, lunch, and dinner is included, and of course, Saria has a whale of a time there. Great childcare has enabled me to grow my business and deal with the unexpected. If I’m having a quiet week, I can keep her home more, and if I’m mega busy, I can add on a day.
I have totally reassessed my working style
For a while I was going to outsource to a PA/VA. The woman who runs it is excellent, so good in fact that in asking me how I work so she could better understand what support they would need to provide, I realised it was pointless me outsourcing because until I addressed how I worked and got things more organised, it would effectively be shelling out to support what at times was nothing short of chaos. These realisations combined with reading The Four-Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss meant that I totally turned things on their head, scaled back, made things simple, and stopped overpromising myself.
I manage expectations
What I always find totally amazing is people tell me to rest, take it easy, and enjoy my baby and then in the next sentence they ask me for something! But I also recognise that like many women, I am an overdoer and try to spread myself too thin. The easiest thing you can do to save yourself a headache, is to set up autoresponders to your email which can explain not only how often you check email, but also even address FAQ’s or point to a page that can answer their query. I also communicated my revised working style to clients, readers etc.
I respond to email in bulk
Email is incredibly distracting so I have taken to responding in bulk a couple of times a week and this has relieved a lot of the pressure I have previously felt about my overflowing inbox.
In fact, I work in bulk
Much like when I do housework, working in dribs and drabs over the course of the week sets my teeth on edge and makes me feel unproductive. After a bedding in period with the girls, I am starting to become really productive with my time. I try to avoid loitering on Twitter and Facebook, and often shut off my email so I can’t hear the ‘ping’ and hide my Blackberry so I can focus. This means I can schedule up posts ahead of time leaving me free to disappear and enjoy myself and the kids.
I set boundaries
Over 12 years of working in media has taught me that if people are given an inch, they’ll chance their arm for a mile, but they’ll only be able to do this if you are unclear. I relieved myself of perceived pressure to cater to everyone’s whims (I had clients and readers looking to get things from me for free) and when I explained how I worked, it taught people my value and actually generated even more business.
I ‘make’ free time
I make social arrangements, go for jaunts around my favourite stores, do arts and crafts, and try to organise a full on day trip every couple of weeks. This ensures that we have fun, bond, and I get away from work which also includes housework….
I rely on routine
The boyf and I aren’t ‘routine’ people and yet since we’ve had children, it is the one area of our lives where we have found that structure has saved us. Both girls are in a routine which gives me an idea of what to expect out of the day so I can slot in housework and work. It’s still challenging as Nia is a guzzling breastfeeder and this literally removes hours out of the day, but I’ve got good at one finger typing, scheduling calls around her feeding times, or catching up on reading…or closing my eyes.
I’ve stopped trying to be superwoman
I’ve written a lot about my accidental quest to be superwoman and the pressure that I, like many women, many mothers in fact, place on myself. It’s not that I still don’t have too many things to do but I’m not about to lose my mind or quality of life over it. I don’t pretend to be happy when I’m sad, and I’ve learned how to ask for help or to just say when I’m struggling. The first few weeks were at times, a total nightmare and I found myself in floods of tears as I tried to juggle a newborn, a toddler with her nose out of joint, combined with bathtimes and trying to get the dinner cooked. A couple of meltdowns followed by some more coherent conversations have meant that the boyf showers Saria in the morning for instance, although I am still the chief ‘fro washer and comber…
Natalie is the co-founder of Self Employed Mum, a blog of bitesize hacks to help you avoid spontaneous combustion.
