Where have you got to? How to get Unstuck and Move On

Sometimes it is easy to feel stuck. Maybe your business has hit a blockage or your search for work that fits with the family seems fruitless. This is the second article from Sandy Mann for Family Friendly Working and it will help you idenitfy where you are and move on. Good Luck!

People who’ve realised their dreams talk about going through different stages and roller-coasting up and down before they make things happen.  Have a think about where you are and how you can move on.


 This is that uncomfortable feeling when you’re starting to think that all’s not well with your life, that various things are going wrong for you and that maybe you ought to do something about all this.  But you don’t quite start, because there are other things you need to do.   The uneasy feeling goes grumbling on, though.


 Now you’ve actually managed to make yourself do something, but the feelings have got a bit worse.  There seem to be far too many possible ways to change, and every one that you think about has got something wrong with it…

 ¨ it needs money or things that you haven’t got and can’t see how to get

  • ¨ you don’t know enough about it and can’t see how to find out
  • ¨ you can’t see where to start
  • ¨ the whole thing nibbles away at your confidence

 It’s much too easy to get stuck at this stage.  But take heart: lots of people have worked through it, and so can you.


 You’ve begun to organise yourself, probably by writing down what you want and what you’re doing.  You’ve also started to get focused by working out where you really want to get to.  Seeing what your future could be sets you searching for practical and factual answers to the questions you’ve got.  You’ve got a better idea of what you can do and what you need to know in order to be able to do it.  Once you know the facts, some ideas aren’t promising and get dropped, but others sound much more hopeful so you find out yet more about them.   Gradually, the confused feelings drop away and you begin to feel that you’re moving forward.


 Now you’ve got a pretty clear picture of where you want to be and how you might get there, so you start working out the details. 

 ¨ What will the future be like when you’ve made it happen?

  • ¨ Exactly what will you have to do to make it happen?
  • ¨ How will you do it?
  • ¨ How will you get the money, things and support that’ll help?

 Because you’ve begun to do things, the world starts to change.  People help you, practical problems get solved, you find the ideas and things that you need.

 Moving on

 Now things start to happen and go your way.  Not everything works perfectly, of course, and sometimes it feels like two steps forward and one back, but it genuinely is more forwards.   New problems present themselves – and get solved.  You find out more things you need to know – and how to learn them.  Other people are impressed and believe in your abilities – so they help.  Your confidence grows, because you can see that there are more successes than failures – and you did it.

 So how can you move yourself on?

 If you’re still just Uneasy…

 ¨ Start thinking of ways to change your situation

  • ¨ Look at the huge amount of helpful information on this website
  • ¨ Expect to become more confused – but don’t worry, it won’t last

 If you’re Confused…

 ¨ Start thinking about how things could be

  • ¨ Make a list of all the things you know how to do, or could learn
  • ¨ Begin to write ideas down, perhaps in a special book because this matters
  • ¨ Have a page for each idea and draw a line down the page
  • ¨ On the left-hand side, write “Good things about this idea”
  • ¨ On the right-hand side, write down “Possible problems with this idea”
  • ¨ Look through the ideas and pick one that has more positives than negatives
  • ¨ Start a new page for this promising idea and look for answers to:
  • o How can I accentuate the positives and minimise the negatives?
  • o What do I need to know before I can decide about this?
  • o Where will I look for what I need?
  • o Who can I talk to who knows something I need?

 Congratulations!  You’ve already started Searching.

 If you’re Searching…

 ¨ Don’t stop at one idea – sometimes even the unpromising ones can work

  • ¨ This site has lots of what you need
  • ¨ Tell people what you’re doing and ask for advice – don’t bottle it up!
  • ¨ Think about talking with a skilled adviser
  • ¨ Make sure you record everything you do so you can see you’re progressing

 If you’re Preparing…

 ¨ Spend time defining exactly what the future will be like

  • ¨ List everything you’ll do so as to make it happen
  • ¨ Decide how you’ll do it – and get help with the things you don’t know about
  • ¨ Contact sources for money, things and support – get advice if you need it

 And if you’re Moving on, then good luck!

This article is from Sandy McMillan who helps people work out what to do. You’ll find him at www.careersolutions.co.uk

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