Guest post by Dr Afiniki Akanet, Author of Life Without Coffee, Choosing Happiness Over Stress and director of Evasitters.co.uk
Supermums are the amazing women who juggle motherhood with jobs, careers, business, marriage or all of these! Although getting a cleaner, babysitter, personal shopper etc (which few parents can afford) can reduce the house jobs and cover for absences, there are still times that only Mummy will do! Some mothers work outside the home because they have to, while others have paid jobs because they want to. Whatever the reason, these are three
mental battles most of us have fought at one time or another.
1. Jack of all trades :
There is that tendency to feel inadequate in all areas when you juggle so many balls. A supermum often worries that she is not being the best mum, especially when she sees how well a stay-at-home mum manages her home and children. She might also worry that she is not giving her best at work because she sometimes has to put her children first. She might wonder how much better her business might be doing if she could put in more time, or how much higher up the career ladder she might be if she put in as much hours as her colleagues. She always has to remind herself that she is still only human, she is doing the best that she can (wherever she is) with the time that she has, that life is not a competition and that her family love her anyway.
2. The mindfulness game :
A supermum, like any other woman, will want to spend quality time with her children when she can. The problem is that small children often find fun in silly and repetitive activities, which most intelligent women will find mind-numbing. Even ironing and hoovering can be terribly boring for a highly-skilled person. After talking science, law, economics or management all week, it might be just a bit harder to concentrate on and enjoy playing peek-a-boo all afternoon. Wisdom and love makes mothers want to do it, but their clever brain would rather be doing something about that bright idea they just had in the kitchen. This does not mean that they do not love or want their children, it just means that they have to work harder to be there in body and mind, enjoying the moments when they spend time with their family, because a good supermum knows that family is more important than work.
3. Frequent hat switching :
Imagine how difficult it would be to write an exam if the questions were from different subjects, with no categorisation and sometimes in different languages! That’s what supermums sometimes have to deal with. You could be having an important conversation at toddler level one moment with your ‘nice mum hat’ on, and doing a webinar with top level consultants using your ‘business woman hat’ the next. Going from playful mummy to boss lady to sexy wife to compassionate friend everyday can be tough. Forget the guilt of not being there for the children all the time – all this hat switching several times a day is exhausting.
When supermum needs a break, supermum should get a break!
Find out more at www.afiniki.co.uk